About See Jane Win For Girls


See Jane Win

About See Jane Win^Ž For Girls

See Jane Win ^Ž for Girls grew out of a study I did with over 1,000 successful women. I asked the women to describe how they felt and what they did when they were kids, and how those experiences helped them to become successful women. Using what we learned from this study, my daughters and I wrote two books for adults, See Jane Win^Ž and How Jane Won. Today those books are helping many people raise their daughters to be the best they can be.

Now, in my new book, See Jane Win for Girls, I bring some of these stories, lessons, and memories to girls directly. I’ve included some excerpts from See Jane Win for Girls, which you may want to share with your daughters or students. The book is intended for teen girls from about age nine. The table of contents is also included here.

*Excerpts from See Jane Win for Girls

I grew up very poor in a rural town in Puerto Rico. My father worked in the sugarcane fields. Neither of my parents was formally educated, but they instilled in me the value of learning. Every morning my father reminded us that education was the only way out of the cycle of poverty. Poverty challenged me to excel, to go to college, to become a professional, and to be able to provide for my family.

Nydia Velázquez,U.S. Congresswoman
from New York

Dare to Dream

You can have a bright future, and daring to dream is part of creating it. But dreaming isn't enough. For dreams to come true, you have to take action, too. That means becoming an I CAN girl. My book will tell you how.

Many of the women you'll read about in See Jane Win for Girls were I CAN girls when they were growing up. That means that they loved to take on new challenges and become actively involved in things that interested them. They brought a positive attitude to much of what they did.

Exercising Your Self-Esteem Muscles

Odd as it may sound, your self-esteem— how you feel about yourself—can help shape your future. When you respect yourself and your values, feel good about what you've achieved, and have confidence in your abilities, your self-esteem is healthy.

The advice I give all kids, especially young black women, is to always be your best. It's not just because you think someone is watching, but be your best, keep yourself sharp, so no one can ever pass you over and say you’re not qualified.

Deborah Roberts, Correspondent ABC’s 20/20
Newsmagazine

Remember: You can feel smart without having to be the smartest. You can have friends without having to be most popular. And you can be athletic, musical, or artistic without having to be the best. If you'd like, tape a note to your mirror that says, "I don't have to be perfect or be liked by everyone to feel good about myself. I am an I CAN girl.”

When Your Self-Esteem Depends on Boyfriends

In general, girls mature earlier than boys do. That means their bodies and emotions may tell them to become interested in romance before boys' bodies and emotions send out a similar signal to them. So if your self-esteem is dependent on how many boys like you, you could have a problem. Some of the nicest guys you know may not even have noticed that girls exist. Some won't be interested in having a girlfriend until high school or college. And some may never be interested in girls as girlfriends, just as some girls may never be interested in boys as boyfriends. Other boys may only like girls who they think aren't as smart as they are. Others may only like girls who are very thin, or have a certain color hair, or are a certain height. Boys who judge you by superficial traits like these can hurt you and your self-esteem if you let them. That's because they're only focusing on a small part of who you are.

If you do feel ready (or almost ready) for boyfriends, look for someone who shares your interests and who truly wants to get to know you. If it seems that in order to attract someone you have to:

• appear less smart or talented than you are
• lose weight and wear makeup or sexy clothes
• try cigarettes, marijuana or drink alcohol
• let someone kiss or touch you when this doesn't feel right to you

. . . then it's not the right relationship for you.

I remember girls in fifth grade being boy-crazy, chasing guys and going to their houses. I didn't understand why they were crazed. I felt different because I was painfully skinny, tiny, and under-developed. I never could eat enough and was trying to gain weight. I was almost a full year behind everyone else. They were in bras and using deodorant, and I was flat as a board and wore an undershirt. My dad even took me to the doctor and had my bones x-rayed because he was so worried. I didn't grow until the end of high school.

Lesley Seymour,
former Editor-in-Chief Redbook Magazine

Boyfriends can be exciting, which makes it hard to act sensibly. But play it smart and be an I CAN girl: put your self-respect, confidence, and interests first. If you want others to value you, first and foremost you have to value yourself!

Another thing you can do when you're critical of yourself is take a reality check. Are you comparing yourself with others? If you are, remind yourself that you're not the only one with flaws. Everyone has them. Instead of feeling bad about what you don't have or can't do, focus on your strengths. What can you do that other people value? What can you do that you value?

I believe one person can make a difference, and public service gives me the opportunity to give back something to this country that has given my family so much. That is the very essence and core of what I do and why I do it. I'm extraordinarily patriotic because I know what this country has done for my family, and I know we are just one of millions of families who would agree.

Shelley Berkley,
U.S. Congresswoman
from Nevada

A Better You = A Better World

Here's one other thing you can do to stay positive about yourself, and it may surprise you: Spend some time helping somebody else! Many successful See Jane Win women say that they feel most fulfilled and happiest with themselves when they're helping others or doing something to make the world a better place. Public radio host Kathleen Dunn, for example, is proud that, as a former VISTA volunteer, she spent two years helping low-income families. And Congresswoman Shelley Berkley is such a strong believer in the importance of volunteering that she sponsored legislation aimed at encouraging people to do it even more. Kids are capable of making a big difference in the world. There are many good causes in the world for you to get involved in if you'd like.

My seventh-grade teacher was Mrs. Hardy. Her expec-tations were very high. Everyone was terrified of her, but I always wanted to please her. She introduced me to poetry, to speaking grammatically, and to striving to do more. She was hard but fair, and it meant so much to me to do well in her class. She was responsible for my yearning to want to be the best.

Deborah Roberts, Correspondent
ABC’s 20/20 Newsmagazine

Feel Smart by Releasing Your Brainpower

It's one thing to be smart. It's another to use your intelligence. One of the most important parts of being smart has to do with I CAN attitudes like enthusiasm, optimism, and a willingness to learn. The successful women in See Jane Win discovered that the smarter they felt, the more willing they were to use their brainpower to keep getting smarter.
If you believe in your teachers, there's a good chance that they'll believe in you. All you have to do is respect them and show them how much you want to learn. Most teachers want very much to inspire their students. And you have the power to help them do that. If you need help, ask for it. If you have special interests or needs, let them know that, too. A teacher's encouragement can have a huge influence in helping you to be your best.

Using your creativity and doing well on tests are only two ways to show your intelligence. Traits like kindness, sensitivity, good social skills, independence, strong leadership abilities, and showing what a trusted friend you can be may not show up on your report card. But they have led to success in life for many I CAN girls.

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Also read How to Raise a Whole Smart Family at this web site and go to www.sylviarimm.com for Dr. Rimm's many other parenting articles.

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