PEERS MATTER, FOR BETTER OR WORSE

I was the class president in seventh grade and student body president in ninth grade. Despite all those honors, I was most insecure in junior high. I was the oldest girl and very small, and both my sisters had started their periods before I did. I thought I was ugly and felt like a creep. I appeared to be successful, but in reality I suffered in silence. Fortunately, in ninth grade I met my friends for life. We called ourselves the Swift Six, and they did wonders for my self-confidence.
Barbara Cubin
U.S. Congresswoman from Wyoming

Girl Scouts was the center of my social existence. I was a Girl Scout from Brownies all the way to Senior Scouts and was proud of my Girl Scout badges. My framed sash with badges down the front and up the back still hangs on the wall. Earning badges helped me set goals, understand the steps, accomplish them, and be rewarded. Girl Scouts also taught me teamwork, particularly from camping and being buddies whenever we went off in the woods. In my work today, I take great pride in building a strong team of women, and that came directly from my Girl Scout activities. Charlotte Otto Senior Vice President and Global Public Affairs Officer, Procter & Gamble

I didn't fit in socially in high school and wasn't popular. I never dated anyone and never went to a prom in my entire life. I had a close group of friends who were very interested in social and environmental issues, old movies, and more into the intellectual side of things.
Connie Matsui, Vice President
Planning and Resource Development,
IDEC Pharmaceuticals;
National President, Girl Scouts of USA

The successful women we surveyed were not always comfortable socializing with peers. Although approximately 25 percent were more social than typical, 40 percent assessed themselves as less social than typical, and 15 percent actually recall feeling isolated during elementary, middle, or high school. Most of the women in our survey tended to befriend like-minded peers who valued learning and achievement.

Being social is neither bad nor good as long as your social life doesn't interfere with your learning during your crucial school years. If you select friends who value learning, you're likely to support each other in the process and still find time for fun. Developing extracurricular interests like Girl Scouts, music, sports, government, debate, drama, science, and math teams all combine learning and fun. Religious groups or special interest groups in high school and college often provide comfortable neighborhoods for friends, discussion, support, and leadership.

If you're going through some lonely times, at least you know you're not alone. Don't be too hard on yourself. Hopefully family members can be supportive during this time; if not, you'll need to be strong and independent. If you can find interests to become involved in, with time you will surely find friends who share those interests.

©2001 by Sylvia B. Rimm.  All rights reserved.  This publication, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of the author.

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